Monday, March 19, 2007

And I'm Off!

Tomorrow I leave for London! It's my first time ever out of the country and I'm very excited. What's even more exciting I'll finally get to test out the Tube. So many have told me wonderous tales of this fast moving subway that I can hardly believe them to be true! There are digital signs that tell you when the next train is approaching....and even better yet people are nice! This I must see first hand in order to believe! So tomorrow I'll be thinking of everyone taking the MTA while I'm on the fancy Underground! And don't worry there will be pictures!

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Distant Memories Rushing Back to Haunt Me

This past Thursday was the first time I rode the LIRR in over 3 months. It could've been worse but with my commuter knowledge and skillful tricks I had a decent commute.

The first thing I did right was to take the first peak train of the evening rush. I took the 4:32 to Stewart Manor. I took this because it left early enough for me to make it to my doctor's appointment for my gimpy ankle (I chipped the bone in 2 places!) and because I didn't have to change at Jamaica. All went well on this commute. It was quiet and there was barely anyone on the train.

Going back in I took the 9:12 to Woodside. This was a little more lively. Most of the passengers were kids singing the entire time. But they were also inquisitve.

Kid 1 - "Hey, can you drive this train?"

Young Conductor (who I believe I saw him his first week of work when he got tips from a veteran conductor who told him not to take shit from anyone because his job is always on the line) - "I know how to drive it to the next station if something were to happen to the engineer."

Kid 2 - "What's the difference?"

Young Conductor (wearing a ring no man should wear) - "We're trained differently. He has an engineer's license and I don't. He can do things I can't and I can do things he can't. But we get paid the same."

The kids had enough and the yound conductor went on his way. He punched my ticket and told me to change at Jamaica. What a pro!

Switching at Woodside is always a breeze, if the 7 train is running, and it was. The subways were running perfectly and I didn't have to wait too long. The entire way back took about an hour, as if I were still commuting to work. After this recent trip I still don't miss the LIRR.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Tracks....Love that Place!

Tonight I dined at Tracks. The portobello burger was superb as always. The service fantastic and the atmosphere everything you could want. It was your typical night at Tracks until I went to use the restroom.

As I was wating for an open stall a bellow came from the one right in front of me.


I stiffled my laughter.


Trying not to burst out and fall to the floor.

The door swings open and the crazy lady busts out declaring the stalls are too small.

"God, it's like I'm Yukon Cornelius with this giant coat on!"

Then as I walked into the stall she yelled out - "Don't touch the seat!" Lady, I never thought of touching it.

I then heard her complain some more and it sounded like she had just knocked over another girl. Then as I was washing my hands her phone rang. She pulled it out of her giant jacket muttering "3 minutes exactly!" "What? You time me!?? What's wrong with you?" She finally moved out of the bathroom and proceed to yell at the person on the other end of the for the next 5 minutes smack in the middle of the dining area. Needless to say it was nice to be back in Penn amongst the crazies for a bit.

Britney Strikes Again

Readers since I last posted I learned I will be a limper for longer than I thought. It turns out my ghastly fall caused 2 chips in my ankle bone. Yes! Chips! And please don't ask me where those bits of bone went because I don't know and don't want to know.

As I've been hobbling to work this week I've been leaving a little later so I can get a seat in the morning. That failed today. I was forced to stand and next to what appeared to be a normal middle aged man. About 10 minutes into my commute I started hearing the distinct sound of Britney Spear's "Toxic" coming from somewhere. I realized it was from the fairly normal looking man to my right! It was blaring through his headphones and he was bopping his head to the beat. It took all I had to not start laughing like a crazy person!

Sadly, he had one over on me. For the next 4 hours "Toxic" was running through my head at full speed. I thought I was going to lose my mind! Thankfully I heard another song that forced "Toxic" out of my mind forever. Funny to have a song with barely any words torturing me all morning.

Friday, March 02, 2007

The Limper has competition!

I discovered something almost worse than a limper the other morning. The zig zagger. I was trying to walk up the steps to the subway platform and was in a rush since the train was pulling into the station. The man ahead of me was the only thing between me and catching my train.

No one was in front him but he found it necessary to walk smack in the middle of the stairs. As I tried to go left he went left. I dashed to the right, he did the same. There was no way I was getting around him. I lost hope of catching my train and prepared myself for the wait. But I got lucky and train was stopped longer than usual and I finally got past the man once we both reached the platform.

The zag zagger is a rare find but when you come across them you want to bop them in the head. There's nothing more frustrating than not being able to move ahead with only one person in your way. I've often encountered them on sidewalks which is slightly more mangeable. But the stairs! The stairs are hell!